Of all the personal, intimate, and individual choices one makes about parenting, none reaches such controversy as how your baby is fed.
I am Katie, a registered nurse of over 7.5 years, a mom to three boys, a lactation specialist, a nurse educator, and your Mama Coach. My experience as a healthcare professional and as a mom has been all over the board when it comes to feeding infants and young children.
As a registered nurse, I have provided nutrition to patients through gastrostomy tubes, nasogastric tubes, bottles, and even tubes that provide nutrition through a part of the intestine. I have seen dozens of bottles, feeders, utensils, formulas, and diets in the care I have participated in.
As a mom, I have breastfed each of my boys for over a year–as a working mom, that has meant hours pumping and countless bottles. I have utilized puree-style foods, baby-led weaning techniques, and a combination of these two when introducing solid foods.
It is safe to say that I have experience in feeding infants and young children! Whichever scenario my patients are experiencing, or what season of infancy my children are in, there are outside opinions about how or what to feed them. Why!?
In the simplest terms, humans are made to raise/rear our young in a community. Over the past hundred years, we have moved away from community rearing to the current parenting in isolation. However, our instincts are still alive; we believe a person (the parent or child) requires help, and we lean into our perceived expertise. There is no denying that some peoples’ intentions when offering advice are not admirable or in the parent’s or child’s best interest. This is a topic for another day…
What are parents to say when they receive this unsolicited advice about how their baby is fed? This is a question ‘for the ages’, as there are numerous scenarios as to who the ‘advisor’ is, the parents’ comfort with differing opinions, and honestly, the time of day (conversations after 6:00 pm are difficult for me as a parent #witchinghour).
Here is my hope for you, moms/dads/parents/caregivers who are reading this blog post: YOU ARE NOT ALONE in your frustrations! How your baby is fed, what or when they are fed, etc., are intimate. These decisions are some of the first ones we make as parents, and we can hold them delicately. We may have trauma associated with deciding to switch from breastfeeding to pumping exclusively; from the separation we experience from our baby because of illness; from the endless colic and changing of reflux medication and formulas.
Simply, we do not know every detail of a family’s story, especially when it comes to how they feed their baby or child. It is vital to hold space for one another, and ourselves when it comes to the unique relationship between our parenting decisions and their outcomes. We only know the complete ends and outs of our experiences, and honoring those experiences is valid.
As an RN, Mama Coach, and fellow parent, I will always respect the variety of infant feeding and parenting. When outside opinions seem to come from every corner, I hope that parents remember one important phrase–“I am my baby’s world, I guide them. My baby is my world, and my intuition guides me.”
You’ve Got This!
Katie Winkler, MSN, RN, CPN, CBS
Interested in my feeding support services? Head here, or message me here!